Five more years of the Tories – UPDATED

Five more years of horrible shiny nasty David Cameron. On the bright side Nigel Farage has resigned (for the time being).

The election results ensure that the Lib Dems are now spoilt for choice as to who could be London Mayoral candidate.

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FA Cup quarter-final replay

TONIGHT. 1930hrs. LIVE ON BBC1.

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David Cameron is a blue toilet

I was puzzled by a recent poll in which it was found that David Cameron was considered “statesmanlike”, “competent” and “intelligent”. David Cameron is about as “statesmanlike” as Mr Blobby.

In the recent Channel 4 documentary The Secret Life Of 4 Year Olds, the kids were insulting each other by saying “You’re a green toilet” or “You’re a purple toilet”. Ergo, David Cameron is a blue toilet. And because I can tell no difference between UKIP and the Tories – and I dislike the fact that UKIP’s colours are not far off Bradford City colours – Nigel Farage is also a blue toilet.

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2-0

TWO. NIL.

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My 41st birthday

For my 41st birthday on Thursday I got £35, two books (Paul Morley’s The North and Charlie Brooker’s Dawn Of The Dumb) and a big bar of chocolate. I also got an email containing a birthday message from Iker Casillas (because I’m a member of his official website).

I actually had a piece of my birthday cake for breakfast the following morning.

Happy 2015 x

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Christmas 2014

I got £35, the Private Eye annual, some berry shower gel and a big bar of chocolate for Christmas.

I’ve also signed up – before 2014 is even finished – for 2015’s WWF Earth Hour which is on March 28th. Sign up at http://www.earthhour.wwf.org.uk

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Feliz Natal

MERRY CRIMBO X

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