My latest poem – Mayhem

MAYHEM

Strong and stable

Strong and stable

Strong and stable

Please shut up.

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Bi Visibility Day 2017

HAPPY BI VISIBILITY DAY x

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Don’t vote Tory

Please, I beg you …

DON’T VOTE FOR THE TORIES!

(And it would be funny to see Tony Blair’s face if Jeremy Corbyn becomes Prime Minister.)

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Covfefe

In the same way as when many people see a celebrity’s name trending on Twitter they assume that celebrity’s died, I now assume, when I see an unfamiliar word trending (and I of course speak German, Spanish, Italian and Portuguese), that Trump has been tweeting. I actually reckon – from the context in which he used the word – that “covfefe” might be how the POTUS thinks “kerfuffle” is spelt.

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Update on update on previous posts

In the blog post I posted on Monday, I announced that the subtitles on my TV hadn’t disappeared or frozen for ages. As Sod’s Law inevitably dictates, on Monday night my subtitles froze while I was watching an old episode of The Chase on Challenge, so I had to retune my TV.

I’ve now nearly finished reading A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man again; I should have finished it by the end of May (by “the end of May” I mean the end of this month rather than the day Theresa the Appeaser ceases to be prime minister). When I’ve finished the Joyce I plan to read The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe – which I first read when I was 6 and last read when I was 17 – again. I like to have a fiction book and a non-fiction book on the go at the same time, so I’m also reading Rebound, Bob Greene’s fascinating book about the period in Michael Jordan’s life when he switched to baseball.

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Update on previous posts

The subtitles on my television haven’t disappeared or frozen for ages – presumably, as I am aware that a lot of people have expressed concern about disappearing / freezing subtitles, they must have done work on the transmitter. Because of this, after watching a recent 1983 TOTP on BBC4 I now finally know all the lyrics to Ryan Paris’ Dolce Vita (I’m not ashamed to admit I love that song).

I have been alerted to the fact that in a recent editorial the Daily Fail referred to itself as “peace-loving”. That’s “peace-loving” in the same way as Tony Blair is. Some of the vox pops I’ve seen on TV during the election campaign – with “lifelong Labour voters” who think the party have suddenly become ruled by a “metropolitan elite” since Jeremy Corbyn became leader – have shown that other people seem to share my late, Fail-reading grandmother’s bizarre belief that Tony Blair is a left-wing radical. There have also been some women interviewed in these vox pops saying that they intend to vote Tory because Theresa May is a woman. I’m a woman and I’m certainly not voting Tory on June 8th. I was dismayed (no pun intended) when Kate Bush was quoted a few months ago as praising Theresa May for being a woman, and I still remember when the Spice Girls proclaimed that Margaret Thatcher was the first Spice Girl (Factory-Closing Spice?).

Another thing that makes me feel old is that the new president of France is younger than me. I don’t know that much about Emmanuel Macron or his politics, but I’m just glad that the Le Pen dynasty didn’t win the French election. I expect the Orange ManBaby is spitting feathers about Marine Le Pen not being French president today, but the Donald still has Theresa the Appeaser.

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About free gifts – Part 2: Absolute tat

As promised, here’s part 2 of my guide to the best and worst free gifts. This part is about the shonkiest, crappiest free gifts. In no particular order, here goes:

HORRIBLE LITTLE MASKS: At around the same time as I was swooning over the free NME poster of gorgeous Neds bassist Mat, my late grandmother was ordering some real junk from the kind of catalogues that used to have quarter-page adverts in Woman’s Realm – such as 5000 hideous birthday cards that all had the same verse inside. With one item of crap that my grandmother ordered, she unexpectedly received a free set of horrible miniature pierrot masks. My mother apparently said “Rachel will love those” so my grandmother showed me the horrid little masks. I did not love these grotesque little things at all so I declined them. A few years later my late grandmother also tried to fob a Westlife CD she’d received free with something onto me.

RINGLESS KEY RING: The magazine Just Seventeen – which I stopped reading when I was about 15 – once gave away a free key ring which didn’t have an actual ring attached (well, mine didn’t, anyway).

NICE LOLLIPOP, SHAME ABOUT THE CONTAINER: At school when I was 5 – in 1979 – one afternoon as a Friday treat my class were all given red lollipops. The lollipop was nice but the jar they were in wasn’t – they were It’s A Knockout lollipops with caricatures of Stuart Hall and his co-presenters all over the jar.

One notoriously rubbish free gift that I didn’t get on principle:

EPIC FAIL: When Prince’s 3121 CD was initially released in the UK, for one day only it came with a free Daily Fail (or Fail on Sunday). Sadly the wee man in purple is no longer with us but the Daily Fail is still published every day – and I see today’s “Legsit” front page is particularly puerile. Some of my neighbours have tried to encourage me to read the Daily Fail, and my aforementioned late grandmother was a Fail reader – I doubt the Daily Fail fuelled my grandmother’s bizarre belief that Tony Blair was a radical socialist, as I don’t think even theĀ Fail believe Thatcher fanboy Blair has ever been left-wing.

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