My latest poem


I really wish

That thing on his head

Would eat him.

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Something that makes me feel old is when I see somebody with wrinkles and / or jowls and I can remember them when they looked youthful. (Indeed, in the case of bald Prince William, I can remember him when he was a baby.)

Another thing that makes me feel old is the recent 25th anniversary of The Wonder Stuff’s gig at Walsall FC’s Bescot Stadium (which took place on 22nd June 1991). TWS are one of my favourite musical acts, and I remember being gutted that I couldn’t go to their Bescot gig – because I had an obligation to go to a dinner dance which just so happened to be on the same night. By then I’d almost worn out my tapes of the first two Wonder Stuff albums (I now have both these albums on CD). I did eventually see the Bescot gig, though, as highlights of it were featured in the documentary The Wonder Stuff – Welcome To The Cheap Seats. (If you haven’t seen the Welcome To The Cheap Seats doco, I strongly recommend it – I believe it’s currently available on DVD). At that time I had a crush on Mat Cheslin from Ned’s Atomic Dustbin  – the one with brunette dreads in this video  (this Neds video was directed by Simon Smith, who also directed the aforementioned Wonder Stuff doco)  – and I would scour Vox, Select, Sounds ( I bought the last-ever issue of Sounds with The Wonder Stuff on the cover, and one of the last issues of Sounds had Neds on the cover with Mat looking stunning), Melody Maker and the NME for pictures of Mat, with the same zeal as the jurors’ waiting area was scoured for empty sudoku grids during the downtime when I did jury service. I stopped buying the NME regularly when it turned into a Tony Blair fanzine – I last bought it when John Peel died – and I haven’t seen a copy of it since it went free. When I have moments to myself, I lip-sinc (badly) to songs by Ned’s Atomic Dustbin and The Wonder Stuff.

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Doing a Leicester

When I was about 17 years old, I read Julian Barnes’ novel A History Of The World In 10 1/2 Chapters. In one of these chapters there is a fictional scenario in which Leicester City win the league title. And in 2016 they’ve done exactly that.

Inevitably there’s been talk of Partick Thistle possibly “doing a Leicester” – which could only happen if a. the Firhill pitch is relaid, b. weather conditions in Maryhill are favourable to aforementioned pitch, and c. more goals are scored. #MonTheJags

Bradford City have, of course, made the play-offs (and also need to increase number in the “goals for” column next season). And will hopefully win, though it won’t be easy…

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What you can do about annoying phone calls

If you are frequently pestered by people ringing you about non-existent road accidents (I can’t drive and I’ve had these calls – in fact I had a call about some “minor road accident” this morning), non-existent insurance policies, broadband that you don’t have etc., there is something you can do about it.

You can send a FREE text message to 7726 and they investigate the number (though obviously they can’t do anything if the annoying call-makers hide their number, which they sometimes do).

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Movie triple bill

As you may be aware, BCAFC lost and Thistle are out of the Scottish Cup.

Last night I watched a movie triple bill consisting of Despicable Me, Zoolander and The Gorgon. Three great films. I must now have seen Despicable Me about 100 times (and Zoolander almost as many). The police chief in The Gorgon – more concerned with asserting his authority and flashing his stunningly beautiful Pat Troughton eyes than conducting investigations that don’t involve beautiful women – displays pretty much the same level of incompetence as Chief Wiggum and many real-life police officers.

Happy Year of the Monkey x

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RIP David Bowie

“We can be heroes just for one day”.

He was certainly one of mine. Another legend gone.

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My 42nd birthday

I saw the new year / my 42nd birthday in watching Old Grey Whistle Test: 70s Gold on Yesterday.

For my birthday I got an interesting-looking book – H Is For Hawk by Helen Macdonald – plus money and chocolate. Like last year I also received an email message from Iker Casillas’ official website.

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