David Cameron is a blue toilet

I was puzzled by a recent poll in which it was found that David Cameron was considered “statesmanlike”, “competent” and “intelligent”. David Cameron is about as “statesmanlike” as Mr Blobby.

In the recent Channel 4 documentary The Secret Life Of 4 Year Olds, the kids were insulting each other by saying “You’re a green toilet” or “You’re a purple toilet”. Ergo, David Cameron is a blue toilet. And because I can tell no difference between UKIP and the Tories – and I dislike the fact that UKIP’s colours are not far off Bradford City colours – Nigel Farage is also a blue toilet.

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2-0

TWO. NIL.

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My 41st birthday

For my 41st birthday on Thursday I got £35, two books (Paul Morley’s The North and Charlie Brooker’s Dawn Of The Dumb) and a big bar of chocolate. I also got an email containing a birthday message from Iker Casillas (because I’m a member of his official website).

I actually had a piece of my birthday cake for breakfast the following morning.

Happy 2015 x

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Christmas 2014

I got £35, the Private Eye annual, some berry shower gel and a big bar of chocolate for Christmas.

I’ve also signed up – before 2014 is even finished – for 2015’s WWF Earth Hour which is on March 28th. Sign up at http://www.earthhour.wwf.org.uk

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Feliz Natal

MERRY CRIMBO X

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Bless his little socks

Tweet by @mcflyharry 26/11/14:

@rcollinslister haha. Glad to hear it

In response to @rcollinslister’s tweet:

@mcflyharry You’ll be pleased to know I decided to wear #socks this morning (cow-print ones) #mcbantz

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Royal baby names

I think they should either call the royal baby after my reaction to the birth announcement – O’Whoopi Doo – or call him /her Justin(e) Case.

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