My next-door-neighbour was paranoid again this morning because the postman knocked on MY door at about 7.30am with a letter that I needed to sign for. Paranoid Lad thought the postman was knocking on HIS door. And he later thought I was trying to kill him, just because an alarm ACCIDENTALLY went off in my flat. The deluded clot (and that also applies to Idiot Housing Officer Woman who put the idea in his head that "move house" means "conduct hate campaign against your next door neighbour").
Anyway, the letter that I had to sign for was about the fact that I am meeting Lemony Snicket later this month, being one of the winners in a competition to do so.