Author Archives: cometorachel

About cometorachel

I am a stand-up comedian and writer who has had hemiplegia, a rare-ish form of cerebral palsy which affects one side of the body (in my case the right) since birth. I also have curvature of the spine. I speak German, Spanish and Italian just about fluently, French badly, and am currently learning Portuguese. I have been a vegetarian for many years. I am on Facebook at and Twitter at

1989 – a great year for music

I’ve just been watching TOTP – The Story Of 1989 on BBC4. 1989 was the year I started reading Sounds and Melody Maker regularly (my mother had previously banned me from reading both publications, even though she occasionally bought them … Continue reading

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My 46th birthday

I saw the new year in watching the Jools Holland hootenanny on BBC2 – in which Rick Astley did his version of Ain’t Too Proud To Beg as well as reiterating his famous list of things he’s never gonna do, … Continue reading

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Ident Poetry

I have been inspired to write a suite of untitled poems about famous television idents of the past – and I may even write some more. Here are the Ident Poems. Yellow chevron BA-BA-BA BA-BAAAA •••••••••••• Stylised thistle Liquorice allsorts … Continue reading

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Christmas 2019

The run-up to this Christmas was dominated by two things: 1. An election which a racist haystack won by a landslide. 2. A fuse having put my cooker out of action, so I was cooking using my George Foreman grill … Continue reading

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My latest poem: Don’t Vote Tory

DON’T VOTE TORY Boris Johnson In a fridge Ridiculous idea for garden bridge   Boris Johnson In a ditch Oven-ready Brexit pitch   Boris Johnson Please lose your seat Voters, make humble pie Tories eat   Expelliamus Tory government gone … Continue reading

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Update on the Festival of Brexit

I was reading today’s Daily Mirror in Sainsbury’s cafe, while having a bubble’n’squeak panini with chips and a mug of tea, and I noticed a wee mention of the Festival of Brexit – the subject of my previous blog post. … Continue reading

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ROLL UP! ROLL UP! for the Festival Of Brexit

The current Tory government has announced that it intends to press ahead with plans for a Festival Of Brexit, which was apparently initiated by Theresa May. (The Tories haven’t said whether or not they’ll still hold their silly festival if … Continue reading

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